The Ramblings (and Rantings) of a New Mom

2006-06-30T10:22:00.000-04:00

2006-06-11T19:58:00.000-04:00

happy copy

2006-02-13T23:00:00.000-05:00

happy copy
Originally uploaded by four12leafclover.

2006-02-11T00:33:00.000-05:00

My son is wearing a pair of pajamas that are a 6-9 months. There isn't much "growing room" at all.
Yes, he is 6 1/2 weeks old for those who are confused...

Oh, I have an evil idea, but you won't know what it is until Tuesday.

2006-02-09T12:16:00.000-05:00

Okay, so they made the decision for us. They said that there is no point, he'll continue to aspirate his "food" with the feeding tube because some of it comes up somehow. He has been sent back to North Wing but as a "comfort care" patient now. We do have to decide whether or not we want to continue rehydrating him, probably at least once a week, and prolong the inevitable. He has no idea what's going on anymore, I don't think he knew we were in the room, his eyes didn't seem like they were seeing anything and he kept talking but no one could hear what he was saying. The doctor says a couple of weeks to a couple of months.

I went back to work yesterday. It was not easy to leave Joey for that long. It looks like we'll already be on overtime before too much longer. The money will be nice, but I'll be gone too much!

2006-02-07T16:10:00.000-05:00

Mom went to go see Grandpa after work and got hit hard. We have to decide whether or not we want a feeding tube put in. He won't swallow. They have to suction everything out when he does "eat" because he just lets it sit there. Yes, the same man who broke his hip a week ago.
I don't know. They are meeting with us tomorrow at 8am.
Any thoughts?

2006-02-07T12:40:00.000-05:00

Who makes baby clothes? Some geeky guy (no offense to geeks, I'm in love with one) who watches Star Trek (and Wars) and has a Jedi costume in his closet, along with a few others, and therefore it goes without saying he's never so much as had a girlfriend, let alone gotten down to any baby-making?! You know, someone similar to my brother. Everyone knows they can't size the stupid things, I've been told it's usually double their age. Joey is proving that one already. Who's baby is only 12.5 pounds by 3 months?! A preemie? One that was at least bordering on failure to thrive? Not that the 12.5 pounds is accurate unless you have a chubby baby. Joey is probably around 11 and I've put clothes away or I throw them in the wash and hope I remember to put them away by the time I get to it. Last night I put a bunting-type thing on him that claimed it went up to 16 pounds. Guess what?! His legs were smushed in there. The outfit he has on now (his second for the day, might I add, the other one got puked on and a mental note made to pack it up) isn't going to last long. Or, should I say, the shirt is going away soon. The pants, however, are fine. It's an outfit, it was bought together. Granted it was like $4 at Penney's, but still. It was only on clearance because winter ends in December according to the stores. Which leads me to one more point, I sure hope his Mickey snow suit fits him until winter ends because I definitely won't be able to find anything else. And socks. Baby socks don't make sense. Now, yes, Joey's legs have filled out a little but he had chicken legs when he was born. His socks will fit him fine in the foot part, some even a bit big, but they cut off the circulation in his legs! We are talking ones that are a "0-9 months". Yeah, okay.

I think I'm done ranting for now.

2006-02-06T21:33:00.000-05:00

Here we are, just waking up, he's all bright-eyed!

Joey gets some food and a diaper change.

And then we let the stupid cat outside.

I go to check my email to learn that we have a severe weather alert! Oh, it's just that we may actually have a winter for a few days.

We have playtime for a bit, which involves much nose eating and silly, annoying voices on my part. I ask him if he loves his mommy and he looks at me like I'm crazy, so I asked if he thought I was crazy, he broke out into one of his huge grins. I thought I had a few more years. He passes out on me.

I never manage to keep my eyes open while taking a picture of myself, so I try this, it didn't go that well.

I set him down and he stays asleep so I sneak in a shower while he's sleeping.

And get some laundry done.

We play again....

I go over to my mom's part of the house to eat with them. My sister has friends over before the dance so the pizza gets devoured.

I try to take a picture of one of my sisters...

And another...

I stick my camera in the other one's room while they get ready for the dance. She's in the middle of working on the wall.

He looks comfy...

Report cards came today...she didn't do that great, but not too terrible.

The boyfriend/Joey's daddy comes home for the weekend from school. He promptly attacks my cat, as usual.

We were sitting on the couch together. I don't think he appreciated this.

Ready for bed!!

Sadly, boyfriend went to his parent's house to work on some stuff for the night. So I talked to him on the phone for a bit.

Ready to crawl into bed only to be stopped by this ferocious beast!

2006-02-06T21:22:00.000-05:00

Don't you just love it when your son screams for food only to drink a tiny bit and pass out?! I know I sure do. He's got my hair all wrapped around his fingers now, his newest habit.

In other news, Joey was wearing a size 3-6 months yesterday for the first time. And it fit him. My son is growing too fast already. :(

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2006-02-02T20:02:00.000-05:00

100_1183-1
Originally uploaded by four12leafclover.

This is what has happened to Joey's new toy. The cat thinks it's his. The cat will think every thing he sees Joey playing with is his, I can see it now...who knew cats could be so freaking jealous?!

2006-02-01T10:48:00.000-05:00

Mom took Joey today while I went to the doctor's.
Now I'm home.
All of her vehicles are here.
Her purse is here.
Her cell phone is here.
Joey isn't.
She isn't.
Joey had a bottle at 20 after 7. He eats every three hours. It's 10:50.
I'm scared.
I don't know what to do.

Edit: They were at the neighbor's.

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2006-01-31T22:27:00.001-05:00

466953027_l
Originally uploaded by four12leafclover.

Oh yah, is there a full moon or something? My sister has been wound the past couple of days. She stole one of my other sister's hats and ran around the house last night. Dork.

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2006-01-31T22:27:00.000-05:00

100_1162-1
Originally uploaded by four12leafclover.

I'm quite jealous of this thing. You can't really see the inflatable ball on the other arch, but it's there. The mat folds up on one end for tummy time. You detach the toys and put them on the wedge it makes. Then, the mat on the bottom goes over the arches to make a tunnel to crawl through. Why did't they have anything that cool when I was a kid?!

In other news, I have one week before I go back to work. :(
I won't get to see Joey for nine hours of the entire day. I wish my house was closer so I had enough time to go home on my break. By the time I got there I would have enough time to shove food down my throat and turn around.

2006-01-27T21:23:00.000-05:00

So Joey is a month old today. This morning I took him to the doctor's office. He weighs 10lbs 8oz and is 21 3/4in long. He is in the 75th percentile for weight and the 70th for height. His head is just average.
He was so funny at the doctor's. I know he doesn't mean the timing, but he has such good timing with his faces sometimes. This baby girl came into the waiting room crying. He raised his eyebrows and then just broke into this huge smile. He really cracks me up sometimes.
I can't believe it's been an entire month already.
Nor can I believe how much he's changed in a month.

He's awake so much more now. He also eats over twice as much. He was good at supporting his own head when he was born but now he does a really good job with it. He smiles a lot, showing off his adorable dimples (or, as Grandma Nancy calls them, "kisses from Grandpa Joe" since they say dimples are kisses from angels.

The number of faces the kid makes amazes me sometimes. I just sit there and watch to see what his face will come up with next. One night while I when I had just gotten done feeding him I started making his faces at him and he got one of his big huge smiles again.
I don't want to go back to work because I'm afraid of missing something. I don't want to miss one smile, let alone any firsts that he might have while I'm gone.
His little hands and fingers continue to amaze me. I love it when his fingers curl around me when I am giving him a bottle. Or the way they always seem to find the neckline of my shirt or a
string on a hoodie.

I know down the road that I'll miss the days of gazing into his eyes while he's eating. Someday I'll tell him about how he used to make all sorts of noise and then fall asleep while he was eating.
I don't plan on having more kids but I would go through it all again in a heartbeat to have him. Now that they are over I wish that I had savored those first few moments with him just a little bit more. I was in too much shock and awe to really appreciate those amazing early seconds. I suppose it would be the same if I did it all over again though.

2006-01-25T23:36:00.000-05:00

I forgot to take my Effexor for three days in a row. No, my pill-taking issues were not how Joey got here. Maybe The Pill is not a good idea for me ever to attempt. Maybe that's why I've been really hungry today. It could be a withdrawl thing.

2006-01-25T17:49:00.000-05:00

My dearest Joey,
I regret to inform you that a nipple will not suddenly sprout betwen my boobs. No, a pacifier won't even magically appear there. Burying your head into my chest makes it very difficult to give the one that you had back to you so please turn your head. Thank you.

Did I mention how adorable it was over the weekend when Jarrod was telling him about hockey while they were watching the game?

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2006-01-24T12:27:00.000-05:00

100_1035-1
Originally uploaded by four12leafclover.

My baby is four weeks old today, which is nothing compared to the whole month he'll be on Friday. And that means I go back to work in two weeks. It amazes me how much he's changed in four weeks.
Oh, and Daddy won't be too proud, but his favorite song seems to be "She Will Be Loved" by Maroon 5. I'm not thrilled either, it's okay once in awhile, but singing it to him always seems to shut him up.

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2006-01-23T13:51:00.000-05:00

100_1029-1
Originally uploaded by four12leafclover.

I love the hood on this outfit.

2006-01-23T13:08:00.000-05:00

Oh yes, Jarrod has a new site so I'll be nice and tell all of you that don't exist to go to it. Thank you people who don't read this. But just in case someone stops by...

2006-01-23T13:04:00.000-05:00

There's something kinda cool about lying in bed and it being full with Joey, Jarrod, myself, and even the stupid cat that thinks I put rugs by my toilet and shower for him to crap on even though his litterbox is right there. Now we just need a dog. One that doesn't poop on floors. Or if he/she does it's on the hard floors. The rats don't sleep in my bed. They would poop in it.

2006-01-19T17:14:00.000-05:00

So I've come to yet another conclusion. Maybe it's parts of your body being stretched in ways that you only thought porn stars could handle or maybe it's something in formula and breastmilk but motherhood makes you crazy. Not like psychotic crazy all of the time, but weird crazy. Like "I'm gonna eat your nose" crazy. Or making sounds effects for everything crazy. Singing songs about nothing crazy.
Will I regain my sanity within the next 18+ years or is this permanent?

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2006-01-18T23:26:00.000-05:00

100_1007-1
Originally uploaded by four12leafclover.

He makes me happy.

2006-01-18T15:42:00.000-05:00

I hate the days when I really miss my dad. Today is one of them. Maybe it's because last night I ate dinner over on my step mom's side of the house and she had Roger over for dinner so there was a man sitting at the head of the table. And not just any man but someone she has some interest in. I don't care if she dates or anything, but it's just weird to have someone there. I've shed a few tears today. Once I was reading a poem about losing a father and the other time was when Pastor Brian was here talking about Joey's dedication and then about my dad and how much he loved me. It really makes me happy that Joey looks a lot like his grandpa. I was hoping he'd have some of my dad's features.

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2006-01-17T19:24:00.000-05:00

100_0973
Originally uploaded by four12leafclover.

He's three weeks old today. There can't be anything cuter than a little boy in overalls other than my son in overalls.

2006-01-16T17:08:00.000-05:00

This would piss anyone off, especially a pregnant woman.

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2006-01-16T11:01:00.000-05:00

100_0956-1
Originally uploaded by four12leafclover.

Joey's umbilical cord fell off the other night so today he got his very first tub bath. He didn't cry but he did make some little fussy noises during the whole thing.

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2006-01-15T23:07:00.000-05:00

100_0948-1
Originally uploaded by four12leafclover.

If you excuse me, we had just woken up, see what I mean, sorta. He isn't asleep, but he curls up and is just adorable. He has that perfect little mouth and everything.

2006-01-15T22:45:00.000-05:00

I am seriously thinking about spending $50 on a jacket that Joey won't be able to wear very long. Yes, I realize that there are people out there who wouldn't bat an eyelash at that. I, however, prefer to find deals so I can buy more stuff. I have a hard time justifying spending a lot on something that will get little use. However, it's his first Easter so he can wear it for that and for pictures because when he is curled up asleep he looks like he should be in one of Anne Geddes' photographs. I'm not just saying that because I'm a proud parent, he really does look that good. I need to get a good sleeping picture of him to prove it. I know everyone thinks their baby is the most beautiful baby in the world and all but the people at the hospital even said "oh a cutie, we haven't had one of those in awhile". Then again, maybe they are just used to Medina babies that are made ugly by all of the inbreeding.

2006-01-15T20:59:00.000-05:00

So, I am quite happy on a number of levels. Number one, most of my old pants fit me again! Already! The only ones that don't are those couple of pairs you keep because occasionally you do lose enough weight and you aren't bloated and can fit into them. (Actually I could fit into them up until sometime in July.) It is so great to have a nice variety of clothes rather than just some maternity stuff. I apologize if I make anyone sick with my rapid post-partum weight loss, but you would be happy if you were in my shoes too!

Moving along...
Penney's is having a massive sale. I got a whole new bedding set, quite a few articles of clothing for myself, and a ton of clothes for Joey and didn't spend that much. We walked out of there with three new bedding sets between us. And a lot of clothes. The stroller was piled up with clothes, they took the bedding and held it for us, and I had Joey. I was buying him stuff for $1 and $2!
Mom has been wanting to get a new bedroom set. We went to FWS and she found a bed, dresser, two night stands, and a chest of drawers. I found a nice headboard. Well, my bank account is looking a little low since I haven't gotten any money from disability yet. She said I could use the money from Grandma and Grandpa. They didn't have any in a full, which is what my bed is. I found another one, nope, no full. Then I found one that would look better with my bedding that I really like and they had that. They are delivering and setting up on Tuesday. I am quite excited. I am still waiting for the wardrobe my mom and John got me for Christmas for Joey. I found one online at Ikea since that place in Middleport burned down. While there I found a toddler bed that I really like and want to get for Joey. Actually the whole series is cute. I wish we had a store closer. It's well over 200 miles, which is pretty far to go for some furniture and whatnot. Maybe it's better that way though...

2006-01-13T10:41:00.000-05:00

A is for Age: 22

B is for Booze of choice: It's been so long since I've drank but usually something fruity and girly.

C is for Career: I'm just working in a textile factory right now, but at some point I may return to school and go for PR or something. Or else I'll be a stay-at-home mom when Jarrod makes tons of money.

D is for your Dog's name: I don't have a dog right now, my Old English Sheepdog, Daphny died a few months ago though.

E is for Essential items you use every day:Deodorant, toothpaste, caffiene now that I am not pregnant and have a newborn around, shampoo, conditioner, body wash, my razor (I hate armpit stubble.)

F is for Favorite song at the moment: I'm not really sure.

G is for favorite Games: Sims 2

H is for Hometown:good old Medina, NY

I is for Instruments you play: I can attempt violin, though it's been about three years. Oooh, and we played the recorder in elementary school, I think I still remember Hot Cross Buns.

J is for Jam or Jelly you like: I don't.

K is for Kids: Joey

L is for Last kiss: Saturday, the last time I saw Jarrod. However, I'll see him tonight when he gets back from school for the weekend.

M is for Most admired trait: My eyes aren't too bad.

N is for Name of your crush: Jarrod, but shhh, I don't think he knows.

O is for Overnight hospital stays: When I was born, in 1st grade when I was dehydrated, that, uh, incident at Houghton a few years back, and when Joey was born.

P is for phobias: Okay, this is sad, but being alone in the dark. Yes, I am almost 23 years old.

Q is for quotes you like:
If I could do things over, I'd live my life again
And never take for granted
the love in daddy's hands
~~Holly Dunn

[O]ne morning as the sun was coming up I told myself that I had to swallow up all of the fear and garbage around me, and once it was inside me I had to transform it all into candy.~~Mian Mian

R is for biggest Regret: Moving to Ohio. Or at least, not spending more time with my dad when he was healthy.

S is for Sweets of your choice: conversation hearts

T is for Time you wake up: Whenever Joey is hungry and I don't feel like going back to bed (Usually between 8-10, depending on his feeding schedule for the night.)

U is for Underwear: Right now bikinis and boy shorts, but I will soon return to the world of thongs because I miss them greatly.

V is for Vegetable you love: I hate cabbage. Other than that, I'm not real picky. When I was a kid I really liked lima beans, which I find a little weird. Oh, and I depsise onions.

W is for Worst Habit: Well, I've pretty much quit biting my nails now that I always seem to have a baby in my arms, so I guess I'd say my internet addiction. (Which stems from boredom.)

X is for X-rays you've had: Um...dental, my right thumb from when my rifle came down on it (colorguard, not a real gun thingy), my foot when the waterbottle fell on it from out of the freezer, my neck when I got hit by a car, my back when I got hit by a car, and I feel like I'm missing one but maybe not. Might I add, I have yet to break a bone. I tend to do things to tendons and ligaments. But I like milk.

Y is for Yummy food you make: Tacos, I'm assuming because Jarrod eats as many as he can. I think it's because I don't put the salsa in the meat. When my sisters were younger they wouldn't let anyone but me make mac and cheese because I made it "soupy" by adding extra milk and they liked it. Of course, one should also add extra cheese, preferrably cheddar to really complete it. I like to consider myself a macaroni and cheese expert. Which kind of sounds good now...

Z is for Zodiac sign:Aries.

2006-01-12T21:15:00.000-05:00

Now it's starting to get to me. I think partially because Jarrod won't be here tomorrow night other than for a little bit, he and his brother are working on something all night. I want a full night's sleep. Or even just someone to take Joey off of my hands for a few hours. Today he hasn't wanted to be put down at all. I am so glad I bought that sling so I could get some stuff done around here. This kid sleeps through the vacuum but wakes up the second I put him down. Right now he's curled up on my chest (I'm slouching way down.) cooing in his sleep. He's adorable and sweet but I can't hold him 24/7. I don't know, there's some other stuff getting to me that I don't feel like getting into right now but it isn't helping, I'm sure.

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2006-01-10T17:18:00.000-05:00

100_0943-1
Originally uploaded by four12leafclover.

He's two weeks old today.

2006-01-10T14:23:00.000-05:00

I just had fun chasing the cat around with the vacuum after I was done. When he ran up on the couch I used the hose to attack him, I don't think he liked getting his fur vacuumed.
And Joey slept through the whole thing.

2006-01-09T17:50:00.000-05:00

So I've learned something important. With the whole baby thing you do everything you don't plan on doing.

I did not want an episiotomy unless I really was going to tear. I had one because Joey was big and I'm not. The midwife that delivered him almost never does them.

I was really going to try and avoid an epidural. I would have succeeded had it not been for the evil Pictocin that made my contractions terrible and on top of each other. Everything was going smoothly up until my body just kind of stopped. They said it'd be within the hour before the Pictocin. Then I just stayed at 9cm. The epidural made life good though, for a little while.

I was not going to use pacifiers. Well, after letting him suck on my finger for an hour one night I gave in. He is one of those babies that just needs to suck on something sometimes. I just can't wait until he figures out how to put it back in his own mouth.

Is there something wrong with the fact that I put him in his bassinet to wake him up after he fell asleep while eating?

2006-01-09T16:53:00.000-05:00

So I'm sitting here with Joey lying on my chest, his feet in my lap, as I recline somewhat in my chair, using the board across the bottom of the back of my desk to prop my feet up. He has not wanted to be put down at all today. Oh sure, he falls asleep with me holding him but the second I reach to put him down his eyes begin to flutter open and he starts to fuss. His fussing turns to a cry as I lie him down. We played Sims 2 today. Or, rather, he slept while I played my game for a bit.
It's supposed to be unseasonably warm this week, high 40's-low 50's. Usually we're getting blizzards this time of the year and dealing with the occasional below 0 temperature.
I didn't accomplish anything today, but I probably wouldn't have anyways. The "baby blues" are setting in. I just hope it doesn't become a full-on depression. I am already on anti-depressants so I should be okay. I hope.

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2006-01-08T15:03:00.000-05:00

100_0928-1
Originally uploaded by four12leafclover.

I know I look like I'm 12. I swear I'm 10 years older than that. Actually I'll be 23 in March. Last year in February when Jarrod and I went to go see Constantine (remember that? ;) ) I got carded. That's sad.
Anyways, the point of this is that Joey is not allowed to wear this outfit EVER again. He looks so much older than 12 days. I don't like that. He's my little tiny baby. Well, okay not little tiny... I keep having people say "oh he's so little", "he must have been nothing to push out". I look at them and say "he was 8 pounds 7 ounces". They just kind of get this look and are like oh my.

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2006-01-07T15:12:00.000-05:00

100_0923-1
Originally uploaded by four12leafclover.

So I am a bad parent. Joey doesn't have a dresser yet. My mom and John are getting me one for Christmas, but there's a slight problem. There was one at Wal Mart but it was sold out when they went back. Well, before that mom had seen one at a furniture store in Middleport. Well, last night on the news they were talking about a furniture store in Middleport that caught fire. Anyone familiar with the area knows Middleport isn't very big and I am quite sure that it was the only furniture store. For now we will continue using the white plastic thing...

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2006-01-06T20:05:00.000-05:00

100_0912-1
Originally uploaded by four12leafclover.

Have you ever seen anything so wonderful?

2006-01-04T10:50:00.000-05:00

Yesterday Joey was a week old. He had his first doctor's appointment, he is doing very well. I also took him to get pictures done. They won't be in until the end of the month though. My little piggy is taking 3 ounces in his bottle at a time now.
Conversation hearts are out in the stores! That always makes me happy. I love conversation hearts.
I need to get some work done around here.

2006-01-02T20:03:00.000-05:00

You know, it hasn't even been a week yet but someday I'd be willing to do it all over again just to have these days back when they're gone.

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2006-01-02T19:45:00.000-05:00

100_0888-1
Originally uploaded by four12leafclover.

Who can resist this?

2006-01-02T11:11:00.002-05:00

I really haven't sat down here and made much of a post yet even though it's been almost a week since Joey was born. I've obviously been fairly busy though. Yesterday we went shopping. I feel fine, people were coming up and asking how old he was and I'd tell them five days and they couldn't believe I was out shopping. I feel better than I have in a long time. I actually feel sort of guiltly about not being at work, but I'd miss spending time with my baby. I am not going to want to go back.
Monday night I couldn't sleep at all. I was having contractions but they were irregular so I figured it wasn't the real thing. I tried everything to make them stop and they wouldn't. I couldn't sleep because they hurt too much. Around 3am I gave up and called Mom and asked her if she thought I should call or go into the hospital. They told me to come in. Well, I was 4cm and in early labor so they kept me. They ended up breaking my water.
I did end up getting some pain medicine, I don't remember what it was called, I was feeling pretty happy. Things were progressing quite nicely and around 8am they said it'd be within the hour. Well, things stopped. I stayed dialated to 9cm so they gave me Pictocin. Well, that officially sucked. My contractions were right on top of each other and so painful that I said yes when they asked if I wanted an epidural. Oh my God what relief! Well, for awhile. Then he moved down and it didn't work. After about an hour of pushing (thought it felt like 10) Joey was born! I have never felt anything that weird in my life! My stomach felt like a balloon deflating (and now looks all wrinkly like a deflated balloon). My hottness was standing at the foot of the bed watching the entire thing, he was the only one in there for the delivery other than the nurses and midwife. I think watching it in high school biology was a bit different than actually witnessing it. I didn't want anyone touching me. I didn't yell at him at all. Actually I didn't say much more than some pathetic "ow"s. Once my mom came over and I snapped "it hurts!" at her because she was touching me. I think at one point I said (not yelled!) they need to get this thing out of me. She ended up cutting me even though she really didn't want to, his head just didn't seem to end.
He weighed 8lbs, 7oz and was 21 inches long. Keep in mind the fact that he was almost three weeks early. If he hadn't been they would have had to do a c-section. He was looking all around and making cute little noises right away. My mom said he was going to take after his namesake. My dad really liked to talk.

He is such a great baby. I just adore him. It's way different than I ever thought it would be and I'm not complaining at all. The night I came home from the hospital I wanted to cry because I didn't think I couldn't handle this. Now I know I can and I'm doing okay.
He loves to snuggle up on my chest and put his head under my chin.

I can see my dad in him, which was something I was hoping for. He has my dad's chin and Mom says he makes grumpy faces and looks like his Grampa. I just wish my dad was here to see him, he would love his grandson and would be as proud as can be. But I know he's watching over him and strutting around up there with his chest all puffed out, proud as can be.

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2006-01-01T08:36:00.000-05:00

100_0886-1
Originally uploaded by four12leafclover.

If he wants a mowhawk when he gets older he can get one, but he has to pay for it.

2005-12-31T10:52:00.000-05:00

I think I've found true happiness in lying down with Joey on my chest while he's sound asleep, nestling his head against my chin. Yes, even though my boobs hurt beyond belief whenever so much as air touches them.

2005-12-30T08:38:00.000-05:00

Big Story: How motherhood makes you smarter

Sweet!

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2005-12-29T23:41:00.000-05:00

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Originally uploaded by four12leafclover.

There will be plenty more pictures and a real update to come later.
He was born at 1:35pm on December 27th. He weighed 8lbs 7oz and was 21 inches long. He was also almost three weeks early, I am quite thankful right now that he was early.

2005-12-26T23:05:00.000-05:00

I know it's the day after Christmas but it's still fun...

2005-12-25T22:43:00.000-05:00

Hmmm...
I've been tired and feeling pretty crappy all day. I got sick a few times. Now I have energy after like a five minute nap that my hottness interrupted, but I got to talk to him...It's quarter to eleven at night, I got up at 5:30, though I did take a nap after church. I've been running around putting Christmas presents away for awhile and I just got the urge to throw all of the bottles in the dishwasher and wash the bassinet sheets, but I don't know if I have enough dye-free laundry detergent and Mom just went to bed. She came over here and I was cleaning off the counter under my microwave because I got a new one (Yay! My old one wasn't digital and had a stupid dial and I didn't like it. My new one is digital and black and pretty.). She was like, "Uh, oh, you're nesting." I explained to her that I was just putting away my presents, but now I don't know... I've been having Braxton-Hicks again on and off all day long. They were coming regularly for a little while but then changed their mind and went away when I was starting to wonder. Well, my bag is packed if need be. And a lot of my presents are put away.

2005-12-25T06:07:00.000-05:00

Crap. My dress shoes aren't going to work. My feet have been swelling the past couple of days and they left nice blisters the day of the Christmas party as a result. I wonder if I can get away with flip flops...

2005-12-24T23:16:00.000-05:00

I swear, this whole "pregnancy brain" thing is getting pretty bad. I put clothes in the washer before I left to go to my mom's house to have Christmas there, well I came home to put them in the dryer and discovered that I forgot to close the lid on the washer. Gee, it works a bit better when you remember to do that, doesn't it? Now I have to stay up and wait for it to finish so I can put it in the dryer because I don't feel like wearing a dress tomorrow and my black pants are in there. (Church is at 7am, if I make it out of bed.)

100_0871-1

2005-12-24T15:56:00.000-05:00

100_0871-1
Originally uploaded by four12leafclover.

This was taken Thursday so I was 36 weeks and 5 days.

I was having some pretty strong Braxton-Hicks contractions at about 5am. I wasn't sure if they were the real thing or not and they were about five minutes apart. I got up and started moving around so they weren't it.

Mom doesn't think I should drive out to my mom's tonight by myself, we're doing the Christmas thing there later on tonight. I'm bringing my brother back here with me so he can go to church and do the Christmas thing here tomorrow. However, if anything were to happen and he had to drive...umm...I'd be delivering the baby in the car. He drives super slow and leg shakes like crazy, we found this out the day Grandma died. He needs a bit of practice still. Feel free to go vote when he will get his license in the poll on my site.

It's 41 out. It's fricking December in Western New York and we have nasty remains of snow for Christmas. However, we should be able to get to the cemetary easily tomorrow. It's got some pretty steep hills and whatnot so snowy weather could have been interesting. But hey, that's why Mom got the Envoy, right? The other reason is to make me realize that my next vehicle will have heated seats. Or be a Prius, then I don't care because I will get awesome gas mileage and drive a cute car.

2005-12-23T13:12:00.000-05:00

Blah, I feel like crap today. Of course, the fact that I have the day off today does help. Unless I go into labor between now and the end of the day Tuesday I get paid for it too. We get Monday off as well.
Right now it's 38 and raining so all of the snow is nasty/melting. :( No snow for Christmas, just rain.
I wonder if it's the Effexor that's making me sick. I haven't taken any in about two years.

Tomorrow is Christmas Eve and Dad isn't around anymore to make us pizza. :(

2005-12-22T20:18:00.000-05:00

The doctor said he will probably come by New Year's, she's pretty sure he isn't waiting until the middle of January. He is right there and waiting, though I don't think my belly really looks like he's gone down much. I'm 2cm dilated and almost 70% effaced.

I'm on Effexor now. I haven't been on any pills in awhile but I can't handle things, it's all too much. She put me on a low dose for now and I'm supposed to call a psychiatrist and get all of that medicine crap straightened out. I'm kinda glad it isn't a high dose because going manic would be really bad for the baby right now, well if he's in there long enough for that to even happen, though it didn't take long when I was on Zoloft.

100_0867

2005-12-21T13:11:00.000-05:00

100_0867
Originally uploaded by four12leafclover.

Cody is sitting on his dog house, as always. Please note the snow building up on his head.

2005-12-21T00:53:00.000-05:00

I am now officially done wrapping all of my Christmas presents! I am quite proud of myself. And it's only the 20th.
Mom pointed out what I suspected today at work on one of my many trips to the bathroom, I am developing quite the waddle now. I don't think I've dropped at all yet though, but my poor body can't handle my belly very well anymore. Actually I think he's done the opposte of dropping, if that's possible, today, all day, he has felt higher up than usual.

While people are with their families this year for the holidays they need to thank their moms if they are not the oldest child because right about now I am really wondering how anyone would want to go through this a second or third or whatever time and I haven't even given birth to this baby yet.

2005-12-20T23:47:00.000-05:00

Gwen Stefani is pregnant with first child and I can't wait to see her perfect stomach go bye-bye!!

2005-12-20T13:06:00.000-05:00

I asked my hottness if he wants to come along to the doctor's on Thursday. That led us into a discussion over who has it worse when it comes to doctor's visits, males or females. He thinks "turn your head and cough" and a finger up the butt later on is worse than speculums and Pap Smears and boob-smooshings later on. I disagree. Granted, I have years until I need boob-smooshings, but I don't imagine them to be enjoyable at all. Especially if I'm having a bad boob day.
I've decided that maybe I better tell the doctor that I am not a happy person. Of course, no one is a happy person three and a half weeks before their due date, but mine goes beyond that level and will probably sink lower after this baby comes.

The weather for Christmas Day sucks. Warm. In fact, it's supposed to be 38 on Friday and 39 on Saturday and 37 on Christmas, but really windy so it'll feel more like 23. It's snowing right now, in fact Forecast Fox keeps reminding me that we have a severe weather alert in case I missed the red octagon with an exclamation point in the middle. So the snow right now is pointless snow because it won't be there for Christmas Day, which is the only day all winter that I want to see snow on the ground. It doesn't quite feel the same without it. There is something very un-Christmasy about muddy, brown lawns.
I hate that Dad is lying underneath a mess of dirt and snow as we get ready for Christmas. I wish there was a better way to take care of our dead. Several hundred years down the road they might do something completely different and dig up whatever remains in graveyards and trash the tombstones that were the only physical reminder of loved ones to some families.

2005-12-20T11:10:00.000-05:00

Ugh, I'm really starting to feel miserable. Yesterday I was tempted to call in to work but I only have 1/2 of a personal day left. Today I don't feel as bad. I "slept" about ten hours Sunday night, but I was awake every hour and a half to pee or because my body just hurt so badly. Yesterday I ended up taking a nap before work because I was so exhausted. Today I'm doing a bit better.
Yesterday I had someone tell me that there was no way I was going to make it until my due date. I'm "already as big as a house". I am well aware of this.
I tried to call the vending machine people, but I didn't get anywhere. They claim someone will get back to me to fill out an incident report. I will report it to the BBB if they don't feel like dealing with me.

I'm getting really mad at DHL, not amazon now. My order arrived in Depew early yesterday morning and was "out for delivery" yesterday. I thought, oh sweet I can finish my wrapping after work because it should be there. Nope. In fact it had another arrive scan in Depew yesterday according to the tracking when I got home from work. And now, apparently, it is sitting in Depew all day today doing nothing.

mail.google.com

2005-12-18T22:53:00.000-05:00

mail.google.com
Originally uploaded by four12leafclover.

Yah...here's that weird-looking skeleton...he even dressed it up before he took the picture.

48

2005-12-18T22:51:00.000-05:00

48
Originally uploaded by four12leafclover.

Grandpa isn't doing too well, I guess. Mom and the girls went to see him today and the one side of his face is sagging as if he had a stroke. He was unresponsive too. Well, unless you count a couple of tears sliding down his face. But nothing else. I don't know what to think. I don't want him to just survive like this for years, but another funeral would be tough.

On a brighter note, hottness and I went Christmas shopping. I am now finished! I just have to wait for the rest of his presents to get here, I ordered them online. I bought my sisters even more stuff so they better be happy come Christmas. I also got myself a new purse. I got him a huge wooden skeleton that he wants to put in his dorm room. The thing has to be at least four feet tall. It was only $20 though. He wants to make the hands stick out and hold stuff.

Santa and Dad

2005-12-18T01:02:00.000-05:00

62
Originally uploaded by four12leafclover.

I've come to the conclusion that this baby can come on Christmas Eve sometime. To tell you the truth, I'm dreading Christmas this year. I haven't been here for a couple of years for Christmas and now Dad won't be here for all of the old traditions. It's like I'm home but not. He won't be here to make pizza on Christmas Eve while we decorate the tree (Hey, you leave a tree up for days or weeks with five cats. Now we have three dogs in the house too.). He won't be here for anything on Christmas Day...it's going to be so different and it's going to be hard. If the baby comes then there will be something to distract us, something to take our minds off of it all.

2005-12-17T12:33:00.000-05:00

wtf_inc: Redneck Christmas Decorations

2005-12-17T12:01:00.000-05:00

Thirty-six weeks today. Four more weeks until the day the doctors predicted this baby will come out. Of course, it could be sooner or it could be another six weeks until they start suggesting induction or a c-section. (I've said before, he's rather big. If he's in there growing another six weeks I don't think he'll fit. I'm 5'2", I may have rather large hips for my lack-of-height but I don't think an 11 or 12 pound baby will fit through this body and I do not want to imagine the pain.)

I was reading somewhere that something like 14% of the women polled got a bikini wax right before the big day. Why would you do that? You are about to inflict more trauma on that area than you ever will in your life (unless, maybe, you're a porn star...then worse things may happen), why would you add more pain to it? With my luck my water would break right then and there.
I just keep reminding myself when I've felt like crap, this is what my body was built to do. I may try and remind myself of that when I'm in labor, but don't anyone else dare mention it. I can hear my hottness now, "relax, relax," he likes to say that a lot.

2005-12-16T12:04:00.000-05:00

Well that sucked. The weather and going to the hospital. My doctor's office sent me there to get some fluids, I was dehydrated. It doesn't take much though. Today when I go into work I am going to search that machine for a phone number to call and complain. It may very well have been the grapes that made me sick.
We had a travel advisory in effect last night I guess. The roads weren't too bad when we left the hospital, but it was just about freezing, once it got below I am sure they were a terrible mess. Now we're supposed to get a bunch of snow.

Tomorrow my sister's new boyfriend is coming over. This should be interesting. The last seemed to do everything he could to make a bad impression on the family. He also got stuck getting out of the van. That was rather entertaining.

The nurse said that this baby moves more than any baby she has ever seen. I blame his other half of his genes. Mom said to always blame the negative on the father anyways. :P He may have just liked the IV though. But he is pretty wiggly in there.

100_0433-1

2005-12-15T16:12:00.000-05:00

100_0433-1
Originally uploaded by four12leafclover.

Awww...wasn't my sister's dog so cute when he was a puppy?

100_0855-1

2005-12-15T15:40:00.000-05:00

100_0855-1
Originally uploaded by four12leafclover.

My poor, poor car is getting covered in freezing rain. I hate winter in Western New York, but I don't think I would ever move away from here again.

2005-12-15T15:30:00.000-05:00

I made a pretty new Christmas wallpaper.

2005-12-15T12:41:00.000-05:00

I'm getting rather irritated right now.
I haven't been able to keep any food down yesterday and today. I've been trying to call the doctors and see if there is anything I can/should do. I only have a day and a half personal time left, I took half of a day yesterday, so I can't just blow off today and tomorrow. Obviously, it's probably not good for the baby or I to not be getting any nutrition in either. I also have to make sure all of the doctors there are covered by the new insurance company that I'm switching to, effective January 1st. And I have to change my next appointment because I'm an idiot and made it for the day of the Christmas party at work, which I get paid to go to so I am not missing it and wasting my vacation time. I will not use personal for that, then I'll l0se my holiday pay for Friday and Monday.
I am wondering if this is a flu bug or not. My temperature is only 99.2. I hope it didn't come from the vending machine at work. Tuesday I bought some "food" out of there. It was cheese and crackers and grapes and some little cup with pineapples and stuff. I thought that couldn't be that bad for me. Well, I was eating some of the grapes and then realize that most of the rest were covered in mold. Needless to say, I threw them away. I know it's fruit mold and it probably can't do too much, but maybe my body isn't reacting well with the mold and pregnancy combined? I don't know. I have to get their number and call. I found someone complaining on complaints.com and figured I'd contact him to see if he ever got anywhere. He said they are terribly crooked and I'd be best off getting a lawyer or going to the Better Business Bureau. I think before I can complain to the BBB I need to attempt some action though. I am going to check the vending machine better for a phone number so I can call. Even if me being sick the very next day has nothing to do with it I don't care, I'm still complaining. That is disgusting. They don't fill the machines very full to begin with so the food empties out of them pretty rapidly. There is no reason why anything in them should be moldy even if they don't check the dates. This was only in there for a couple of days and it is refridgerated.

2005-12-15T00:22:00.000-05:00

Ummm...I have no actual words for this.

2005-12-14T00:39:00.000-05:00

The past couple of days I've been exhausted and keep sleeping through my alarm. Once I actually wake up I'm pretty much okay other than at some point in time at work, usually around 8:30-9ish, I get really tired but then my energy comes back and I'm fine.

I wish I could explain to everyone how much I really can't do this. I am at a higher risk for post-partum depression and post-partum psychosis because of my illness. I'm depressed already. I lie to my doctor in fear of what may happen when she asks if I'm doing okay. I myself have forgotten to eat before. When I lived at my mom's after my first year of college I wouldn't eat for days on end because I forgot. Not because I wasn't hungry, I just forgot. That isn't natural. What happens if I start doing that to the baby? Forgetting to feed him? Forgetting to change his diaper? I know mom said she would take custody but I feel like she doesn't want to anymore. I feel bad with the baby shower and everything. I said at first that I wasn't sure, maybe we should have it for the baby in general, not necessarily me. Then I just sort of got caught up in everything and now I don't know what to do. This baby is due in a month. Exactly one month. January 14th.
I'm also scared I'll go into labor and not realize it. I read one woman's story about how when she was having contractions she thought that her cramps were worse than those ever got. What happens if my water doesn't break on its own and I don't realize that those are contractions? No site seems to really describe what they feel like. I've Googled it several times. I've had some pretty bad cramps before...

Now I'm going to complain a bit and prove my immaturity...
Why won't they hurry up and come out with Sims 2 for other cell phones other than Cingular?! Why are they the only ones who can get it right now? I want to be able to play Sims on my cell phone. I have Verizon, it's not like I have some little company.
Oh, speaking of Sims 2, I made an update on my site the other day.

2005-12-13T12:38:00.000-05:00

They really are going waaaay too far with the whole iPod thing.

2005-12-13T00:40:00.000-05:00

Okay, I'm not stupid. I know someone keeps coming here on a pretty regular basis. I have a pretty good idea who it may be.
Just wanted to let you know that I am well aware.

100_0843-1

2005-12-12T13:12:00.000-05:00

100_0843-1
Originally uploaded by four12leafclover.

I have no idea how but I forgot to mention one of the happiest things about my weekend other than seeing my hottness. Saturday we went shopping (not my hottness) and I have a lot more of my Christmas shopping done and wrapped and everything. Well, I saw a pair of corduroy pants that were bigger than what I used to wear and they were on clearance for like $6. I figured I'd buy them and put them away for after I have the baby and am (hopefully) returning to my old size. Well, they only rang up for $4, which made me pretty happy. BUT the thing that made me even happier--they fit now! They are low-rise and button quite nicely under my belly and don't bug me at all. Of course, wearing real pants isn't as comfortable as wearing maternity pants but there's something about being able to do it at 35 weeks pregnant that makes you feel really good about yourself.
My Christmas bonus that I got Friday at work is pretty much gone, but hey, I only have a few more things to get. I couldn't get the rest of my step mom's present since she was with me and I just didn't see anything I wanted to get for hottness's family. I might get my step dad something else though. I'm waiting on a few things to get here. I ordered some stuff from amazon.com last Monday and it hasn't even been shipped yet!

I've been having some weird dreams lately. Last night I had one that I went into labor and we were visiting my grandparents in the Southern Tier. They are in Florida for the winter though, so I won't get stuck in that mess for real. I had one Saturday night that dad was still alive but we knew he was going to die and we were travelling somewhere and he was still his old self, not sick like he was when we knew in real life. I had another one with him in it last night but I don't remember anything about it. I just remember waking up to pee (something I usually do several times a night) and having had another dream with dad in it.

I thought the snow outside looked pretty.

2005-12-11T19:37:00.000-05:00

I felt the strangest thing today during church. I swear that Joey was knocking in there. It was just this little *tap tap tap* thing. It wasn't a kick and it was down lower. I don't know if he thought if he knocked he could come out or something, but if that's the case it isn't up to me.

2005-12-11T01:01:00.000-05:00

YELLOW SNOW FROM PANLOGIC

I've always been jealous of guys and their ability to write in the snow...I guess this sorta makes up for it.

2005-12-09T11:42:00.000-05:00

This is going to be an entry all about puking. If you don't like to read about puking feel free to scroll right through this one. However, if you are sick and twisted like most of the rest of the population and like reading about other people's misfortunes and bodily functions, read on!

Yesterday I learned two very important facts after my lunch. "They" are right. I've read a zillion times that you should not eat Ramen noodles when pregnant. Well, my belly really thought that it wanted them and I said why not. I know the main concern is the salt content but I drink tons of water and I don't salt my food so one time won't kill the baby. I finished eating my noodles, set my bowl down, took a sip of my ice water and then next thing I knew I was running for the bathroom. "They" weren't making things up. My belly didn't want Ramen noodles as badly as it thought it did because it couldn't handle them. The second thing I learned is that puking up Ramen noodles is just like eating them, only in reverse. They taste basically the same and everything! It wasn't a bad puke. Well, I could have done without the noodles in my nose, but I've had worse.
My other puke story happened in the middle of the night last night. My poor stomach has become quite sensitive. It is very picky and will not allow me to eat anything with grease or garlic. It doesn't mind pizza, but I do blot the grease off with a napkin, I have for years. (The grease is actually bad for you, contrary to what Mr. I'm-going-to-stay-at-school-and-save-the-world-this-weekend-
rather-than-come-home-and-spend-time-with-the-poor-whale-
of-a-pregnant-woman-but-now-my-computer-broke-so-I-will-come-
home-so-that-I-can-fix-it may think. Okay, so he didn't really say "whale of a pregnant woman". And he was sort of saving the world originally. He was going to stay and help out with this because they just got a bunch of exposure and are afraid they can't handle it so he was going to be there for the technical end of things.) Well, apparently my body can't even handle grease in my dreams. I had a dream about eating tacos and I woke up and had to pee and then I had to puke. It was all very unfair.

2005-12-09T01:07:00.000-05:00

Banana Guard

Uh....yah.....

2005-12-07T13:24:00.000-05:00

I am amused. Of course, I am also easily amused so don't get mad if you aren't.

2005-12-06T01:15:00.000-05:00

Well, I've got a better start on Christmas shopping than I did earlier. I get three more paychecks and my Christmas bonus between now and Christmas. The last paycheck and possibly my bonus come the Thursday before Christmas so I'd rather not rely on them because I do not want to be braving the stores those days. Friday while anyone who has to work is at work might be okay, or Thursday after I leave our work Christmas party might be okay since I obviously won't be drinking at it. Of course, I hope to be done by then. My sisters' presents are wrapped. I have everything for them. I just ordered my hottness's presents. Well, I might get him something else, I'm not sure yet. I also just ordered part of my step mom's present. I have no idea what to get my brother other than gift certificates to anywhere that sells video games. As for Grandpa, well, I have no clue. I said I could probably wrap up an empty box and he'd see whatever it is that he plays with all of the time that isn't there and be happy. I do want to get him something but I'm rather limited. He lives in the north wing of the hospital (where they put all of the old people who need nursing care). I don't want to get him anything that he could break somewhat easily because he would probably drop it and feel really bad about it and get upset. I don't know, I'll talk to mom and see what she thinks. Maybe she has an idea? Clothes???

100_0841-1

2005-12-05T12:45:00.000-05:00

100_0841-1
Originally uploaded by four12leafclover.

And my belly just keeps growing bigger and bigger...

2005-12-05T11:39:00.000-05:00

I think number two on the list of "Things I Don't Want to Hear Right Now", right behind "wow that's going to be a big baby!" (I already know this. Please do not remind me of it again or I am likely to make some smart comment about how the one that you're carrying looks rather large too, especially if you aren't pregnant.), has to be "I don't think I got as big as you are until the very end". Thank you. I needed to know that you were my size six weeks from now. It just goes right along with number one on the list. It's clearly all baby. I haven't gained weight anywhere else, really. Okay, so maybe my butt grew a little to accomodate the extra weight, but my face and everything else are their pre-pregnancy sizes. I am NOT complaining about this. It means I have less excess weight to lose down the road, if and when this baby comes. I feel like I've been pregnant forever. My old clothes look so tiny, almost as if we should dress the baby in them, not me after I lose weight.

2005-12-03T00:34:00.000-05:00

I am working tomorrow. It would be overtime for me had I worked all week. We go from being layed off to working overtime. Go figure...

2005-12-02T11:10:00.000-05:00

My brilliant cat, featured here, decided that peeing on the side of my toilet would be a good idea. I got up to pee and stepped in it. He got sent outside in the snow. The snow that started last night while I was at work and is now covering everything quite nicely. The snow I will have to drive to the bank and to work in. I can't wait until winter is over, which is usually sometime in April around here. Of course, it usually starts earlier than this so I don't know why I keep complaining so much. I need to get some work done around here. Maybe tomorrow I'll offer one of my sisters $5 to do the litterbox. It's not hard. I use the nifty crystal cat litter stuff that's blue and clear and is good for a month with one cat. There is no nasty clumped up pee and cat litter on the bottom from it. I'll tell you a secret though, it's a lot cheaper at Wal Mart. I put that link up for the cat peeing on the floor article. He's just mad because his litterbox needs changed and I haven't done it because I shouldn't. He goes outside and therefore is at a greater risk for carrying toxmoplasmosis.
I still need to write those Thank Yous too. Ugh, maybe I'll work on those over the weekend since my hottness won't be home this weekend to spend time with me. :( (He's staying at school and taking a civil service exam tomorrow since it's nearby.)

2005-12-01T12:38:00.000-05:00

I really miss my belly button. I don't like this weird, flat thing that has replaced it. I liked my little cave. When I was little that's where I thought babies came from. Wouldn't that make life so much easier?

Ugh, my next doctor's appointment is at 8:15am. That's early. Especially since I work until 11pm. I'll come home and sleep.
If I'm still working when we have the Christmas party (and I probably still will be) I think I'm either taking half a personal or vacation day that morning or the night before. I can't come home from work after 11pm and be back there at 7am so I can work for a few hours before the party, my body doesn't like too little sleep. This morning at 10am it didn't want to get out of bed yet and I wasn't that comfortable. (Not that I ever seem to be very comfortable anymore.)

Yesterday my step mom and I were talking, she thinks I'm going to go early. I think so too, I hope he's not late. I was 17 days late and the boyfriend was crazy late too. January 14th seems so far away still.
She told my sisters that new traditions for Christmas Eve have to be started since dad isn't there anymore to make pizza and all that fun stuff. They are all worried about it, I told her to tell them not to worry, there's always a chance that the day could be spent at the hospital. If that happened would we go out and buy "baby's first Christmas" stuff on sale the day after Christmas so he'll have stuff? And what do people do when their baby is supposed to be born before Christmas but he/she is born later? Did they buy stuff already? Do they take it back if it has the year on it? Will stores take it after Christmas when it clearly says the year?
Eh, I guess having that to worry about beats being huge in the middle of summer, especially if it's anything like the one we had this year.

2005-11-30T10:37:00.000-05:00

I go back to work today! (For a few weeks anyways.)

2005-11-29T12:17:00.000-05:00

How much longer is it until January????
Actually, time should go by somewhat fast since I have a lot of Christmas shopping still to do.
My three sisters are done. I bought them stuff last night and then I ordered the rest of their presents online. I also ordered a nice diaper bag from Land's End.
We still have some rearranging to do around here and we have to bring the bassinet over and the changing table and all of that fun stuff. I'd move my computer desk myself during the day, but it's a little heavy and awkward.

I still don't know what I'm getting my hottness for Christmas and he won't tell me what he wants. Maybe I'll just buy him underwear then. Or other clothes since he thinks getting clothes for Christmas is such a terrible thing. (I want gift cards to clothing stores for Christmas. Please. After I have the baby I can go buy myself some new clothes. I just don't trust some people's judgement.)

We still have to go dresser shopping. My grandma had a thing for chairs but not dressers, sadly enough. After we get these things then I'll have a place to put the shower gifts away. (Which reminds me, I need to get working on those Thank You cards. I hate writing thank you cards, I feel like an idiot.) Right now everything is sort of piled up in my closet, or in front of it. It sort of looks like my closet threw-up a bunch of baby stuff. Mom has even more stuff on her side of the house.

Oh joy, we are supposed to get snow and rain tomorrow.
I should go eat something before I have to go into town.

100_0837

2005-11-25T12:23:00.000-05:00

100_0837
Originally uploaded by four12leafclover.

Look! It's a pumpkin!

100_0834

2005-11-25T12:18:00.000-05:00

100_0834
Originally uploaded by four12leafclover.

No cat, I cannot change the weather for you. If you are going to sit at the door and yell at me I will drag you back into the warmth of the house rather than stand in the breezeway listening to your crap. It isn't any different out the other door so don't even make me walk over there and open it for you.

2005-11-23T13:10:00.000-05:00

I need to stop watching TV and reading things on the internet. I can't wait until this baby is born and I hold him and see that there is nothing wrong with him. I get so paranoid sometimes.

On a lighter note, I have this for anyone who may stumble in here. You can make the internet sing anything you want. I'm off to have fun with that because now I probably won't get any more cleaning done. I kind of want to play Sims 2 anyways.

2005-11-22T13:38:00.000-05:00

Why does my stomach think peanut butter cups are a brilliant idea when it doesn't feel very well?

2005-11-22T10:49:00.000-05:00

Getting comfortable is getting nearly impossible now. I don't know how I am going to make it to January!

My cold is clearing up. That wasn't fun at all.

I have a doctor's appointment today. I need to run to the bank and then stop into work and pick up some stuff I ordered from someone. It looks like they'll start calling us back before January. Of course, they moved my due date so I can't guarantee I'll be able to start work when they call.

I think my poor stomach is getting smushed. I can't eat that much anymore, it gets full really easily. I'll talk to the doctor about that one. Thanksgiving will be interesting this year. I must save room for pie, somehow.

2005-11-17T20:05:00.000-05:00

Something tragic occurred to me earlier today. I have completely forgotten what it was like to have a normal stomach.

100_0827

2005-11-17T14:28:00.000-05:00

100_0827
Originally uploaded by four12leafclover.

Well, I guess it wasn't a lie. You can't really tell that it actually is snowing, but it is. I promise.

2005-11-17T13:27:00.000-05:00

I hope I'm not getting sick. I felt pretty crappy yesterday and I was actually cold! I haven't been cold since it was ridiculously hot and humid this summer and at work they had us in the environmental chamber where it was 65. I slept in pants and a long-sleeved shirt! I usually sleep in a tank top and shorts. I turned my heat up too. I have yet to shower today and I'm not very hungry though I should go eat something soon.

I still have no idea what is going on for Thanksgiving. I say pick the place with the better food. (My step mom's family.) I should go there anyways. I don't know how many Thanksgivings are left with Grandpa and we are taking him out of North Wing for the holiday. It also is the first major holiday without Dad and it would have been their anniversary.

My hottness comes home tomorrow. :D I haven't seen him in awhile and I miss him a lot. Maybe I'll get lucky and he'll be home when I go pick Becky up from school (she's getting out early to ride down to the Southern Tier with our cousins to go hunting) and I can bring him back here and keep him until it's time for my aunt's linen party.

It's supposed to snow today. Let's see if it actually happens.

babyjoey

2005-11-16T10:30:00.000-05:00

babyjoey
Originally uploaded by four12leafclover.

So here are the baby's first pictures. It's a boy for sure. Everyone was right. I'm still trying to figure out a good middle name, but his first name will be Joseph.

2005-11-09T21:33:00.000-05:00

I had a doctor's appointment yesterday, everything is going well. I have to call and schedule an ultrasound. I was going to do that today but we went on an unplanned shopping excursion. I took two of my sisters to the orthodontist since my step mom had to work. They didn't object when I told them we would run to Wal Mart before I took them to school because I needed shampoo and conditioner and Q-Tips. Well, mom slept late and couldn't keep her eyes open so she called off and we ended up going shopping later on. I got a couple of shirts (on clearance) because my maternity wardrobe is so small and it bores me easily. I also bought a couple of outfits for the baby. I'll call and schedule it tomorrow. Hopefully I can get in tomorrow. I think I am just going to find out what the baby is. We are going shopping in Pennsylvania on Friday and it is really starting to drive me nuts. The kid's wardrobe is full of yellow and some green and quite a bit of tan.
I was going to get more work done around here today, but that didn't happen. Oh well, maybe tomorrow. I need some bloodwork done too so someone has to take me to the hospital, mom doesn't get home from work until quarter to three. (I turn green and pass out when they take my blood.) I did get a little bit done.
It's almost time for CSI. Stupid two part episodes just make you go back the second night.
They are calling for snow tomorrow. Eh, well, we've had snow for Columbus Day before so I can't really complain.

2005-11-07T12:26:00.000-05:00

The pictures didn't turn out too bad actually. I'm sort of suprised.
My 15 year old sister broke up with the loser she was with. The kid is so fat he got stuck getting out of our van when he came over two months ago. He was all over my sister. He invited himself to spend the night. He showed up wearing a shirt that said "Evil" on it when he knew my family was religious. (Yes, it's a paintball brand and blah, blah, blah but still, you just don't do that.) My step mom talked to her than and she said she was going to break up with him. Well, apparently it takes two months to break-up with someone you were dating for a month prior to that. But he's gone now. He called her 26 times while we were gone Saturday. We were gone for maybe eight hours.

I'm getting stuff accomplished. The rat cage is now clean and laundry is going and I've done a few other little things. I am kind of hungry though. Brownie Mud Pie ice cream is sounding really good right now.

2005-11-05T10:46:00.000-05:00

Ugh. We are going to get family portraits done in a little while. Just what my pregnant self wants. I don't like pictures taken. I hate professional ones because they always look even worse because you are sitting/standing/whatever there waiting for so long and you sort of lose whatever look you were going for originally by the time they actually take the stupid thing. Of course I'm not one of those lucky people who's skin clears up during pregnancy either. Luckily I haven't gained excessive amounts of weight or anything so I am obviously pregnant and not just fat.
After portraits we are going to do the baby registry thing. I saw an adorable crib bedding set with bugs on it a couple of weeks ago, so I am trying to figure out if I like that or the ocean theme one better. (Once upon a time I was a marine bioloy major. I was going to school on the coast of Maine and got to spend lots of time by the ocean. Then I decided to transfer and change majors for some reason. After that I was stupid and decided to take some time off and move to Ohio.)
We went to go see my grandpa last night. He told me I should have twins. I guess that isn't as bad as the day he told my step mom I should have FOUR. He told me he'd feel sorry for me if I had twins. Of course, this is all coming from the same man who says he's been having problems with the staff and his wheelchair for ten years now. He's been in that wing for a little over a week now. Maybe it's been two weeks, but not more than that.

2005-11-04T15:55:00.000-05:00

Welcome to one of my corners of the internet. This one is strictly for the baby though. Hopefully I will continue to update after the baby is born and they call me back at work and the doctor says I can go back.

Wednesday they did a lay-off at work. I knew it was coming, business was slow. It'll pick back up after the first of the year, that is a guarantee, but until then some of us just collect unemployment. I'm not complaining too much. Unemployment will give me more than disability. I haven't been there long enough to qualify for FMLA or anything (that's why I got laid off, they go by seniority). The bad part is I will lose my insurance at the end of this month. I have pretty good insurance right now, I don't have to pay anything to have this baby, or, rather, I wouldn't have had to. Now I have to sit down and look into Medicaid and whatnot because I really can't afford to pay for all of that on unemployment between December 1st and January-whenever they call me back. The good news is they will call back sometime in January, maybe early February. If I can't work, and I probably won't be able to since I'm due January 17th, they will just put me right on disability and my insurance will come back as soon as I fill out some paperwork! It's all like magic, I had to wait for insurance and now it will just appear. I now qualify for WIC too, I wouldn't have before. It's less food I have to buy right now.
My family is wonderful as well. I recently moved into the apartment my dad and step mom had built off of their home for my grandparents. My grandma passed away and my grandpa is in the hospital and won't ever be coming home. He has Parkinson's and Alzheimer's and they are too far advanced for him to function without constant care. He doesn't even qualify for nursing care. They are also going to help out however they can. This will be one spoiled rotten baby, living with it's Grandma and three teenage aunts. Right now I think I am going to sign over temporary custody to my step mom.
The boyfriend doesn't argue with me or complain about my mood swings really. However, he's lucky. He's going to school over and hour away and lives there and sees me on the weekends. He does argue with me when I say I'm fat though, he tells me that I'm pregnant, not fat.

Now let me explain a little about this baby's grandpa and future namesake. My father died of cancer April 28th, just a month and a half after his 50th birthday. Doing the math will tell you that if I'm due in mid-January then this baby was conceived just before then. This baby is meant to be in this family somewhere. I was originally considering giving it up for adoption but this will work out better. My dad's name was Joseph, so this baby will be Joseph if it's a boy or Josephine (Josie for short) if it's a girl. Actually I'm thinking Josephine Elizabeth. Elizabeth was my grandma's name and she passed away about a month ago.

Okay, now I need to eat something and put some more stuff away around this mess. (I'm still unpacking my things.)